A Matter of Existence
by Saberpilot
Summary: One-Shot. Ceres has questions in the dark while reading a book; can she find the answers? Please R&R!


Disclaimer: Hola! *waves* I don't own Ceres or Alucard.. Hey, I don't even own Hellsing! That's probably a good thing, otherwise the angel of death might be tortured showing me how to use particle wire! ^^   
  
This ficcy is based off a simple idea I had while I was sitting around in my dorm room. Please R&R, tell me what you think.  
  
A/N: (update) Thanks to everyone that saw my little blooper.. hee hee.. reading MacBeth & Hamlet at the same time can sometimes cause confusion of titles.. oops!   
  
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One Shot: A Matter Of Existence  
  
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"To be.. or not to be, that is the question," A young woman sighs, brushing a lock of reddish-gold hair from her face. She puts down the book she had been reading and looks up at the clock.  
  
Five of twelve. Five minutes to the witching hour that made her body and heart ache with the instincts of an animal, bloodthirsty and mad. It hadn't seemed like the choice had been so important, back then. After all, it was either her time to die or not..  
  
She just hadn't expected that not dying would mean she'd live forever.   
  
Stretching, the young former policewoman pulls herself up from her sitting position, laying a frayed copy of Hamlet upon the table. She'd needed something to clear her mind, but Shakespeare had done anything but what was needed.   
  
It was funny, really. Whenever Ceres tried to dodge the issue of her new state of being, no matter what she did, it would always come back around, like a merry-go-round.   
  
Suddenly a darkened voice comes into Seras's conciousness, and the red-gold haired woman sighs, her lips forming into a slight grin. "Yes, Master?"  
  
"You are wondering again," the voice drawls on as a body solidifies behind the former policewoman, "about your choice."  
  
"Can I help it?" Ceres asks, closing her eyes. "If I had known then what I know now- about the hunger, the needing, the.. other things that go with being a vampire.."  
  
"You still would have chosen the choice that you did," Alucard responds, smiling with a toothy grin. "You are too drawn into your duty to have left unfinished business behind.."  
  
"Yes, I suppose, but I.."  
  
"Do not tell me that you do not.. desire these things. I can feel the warmth within your veins as the hunger drives you to drink the delicious juice that is human blood." The vampire suddenly materializes right behind her, using a gloved hand to gently touch the place on her neck where her rebirth was made possible.  
  
"Please, Master.." Ceres brushes off his gloved hand, then looks to the floor. "I.. don't want to enjoy these things. I want to enjoy the things I used to- shopping, going out with my comrades, living a normal human life-"  
  
"Ah, but that is the rub of it," Alucard says, picking up the book and looking at the title of the book. "Are you human now? Can you return to that life?"  
  
"No.. no I can't," the female vampire responds. She looks up at Alucard, and raises an eyebrow.   
  
"When.. when did you become what you are, Master?"  
  
The vampire flips the book over in his hands a few times, then places it on the table. His eyes are slits. "A long time ago, police woman. A time beyond reason, when God was still feared in men's hearts. A time when loyalties to country could tear brother from brother."  
  
"You must be.. but wait, that could be any time!" Ceres says, angrily looking up at Alucard. "You didn't answer my question."  
  
"You didn't answer mine, police girl."  
  
"You didn't ask one," Ceres says, looking at him with wide reddened eyes.   
  
"Ah, but that question I asked was one of silence. I merely said that you were still questioning your choice."  
  
Ceres remains quiet for a moment, then looks at the book sitting on the table. "There's nothing I can really do about it now, is there? So.. I guess I'll just have to live with the choice that I've made."  
  
"So you admit you are no longer human?"  
  
"I'm not human.. but I'm not a vampire either," The former policewoman responds. "I need some time to think this over.. I need time to feel comfortable with my new self."  
  
"I see. Well, then I shall leave you with your human moments of contemplation." With that, the older vampire evaporates from behind her, leaving behind no trace save for a moved book on the table.   
  
Looking at the weathered cover, Ceres smiles slightly. "To be or not to be.." she whispers, looking at the weathered pages. Picking up the book, Ceres opens it up to a passage, then grins, looking up at the darkness.  
  
"I have my answer," she whispers, grinning pointedly, the moonlight twinkling off of her canines. Smiling, she turns the pages, and looks up.   
  
She now had plenty of time to prove her answer.  
  
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((R&R? Pretty Please?)) 


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